Unplugged

It can be so easy to get lost in technology. One moment, you are on your phone and the next thing you know hours have gone by. Time is precious, there are only so many hours in each day. This quarantine has been quite a lifestyle change, as I realized early on how attached I was to my devices. Week one I made sure I dedicated time each day to “unplug” myself. In this time, I mediate, exercise, and pray. Maybe go for a drive, run through Starbucks, go to the grocery store, or do some yoga. The focus of this exercise for me was to fall back in love with spending time with myself.

I am thankful for technology. I can connect with people and friends who are maybe down the road or even across the world that I do not have access to at the moment. Once a week my extended family dedicates an hour of our time to a family “Prayer and Care” time. This is something we have never done before. In a way, technology has recently brought my family closer. However, with the increase of technology in home and the workplace, as well as the incorporation of working from home for most businesses during the COVID-19 pandemic, the line between work and family life has blurred.

Currently, I am working at home in Florida for a company back in Alabama my mother is the CFO of. I have been given the responsibly of managing their social media: designing graphics, posting and maintaining their brand. Any given hour of the day I receive a text from her, or an email from my coworkers with a request. This has caused me some stress as I constantly have an ever-growing to-do list. Being on furlough from Disney, I decided to take a week to visit my family in Alabama. I noticed how my mom uses technology, and how it has essentially overcome her life. Our dining room table has become her office, she always has two computers set up and her phone on her. She is constantly jumping from meeting to meeting, answering emails, accomplishing one task after another on her ever-growing to-do list. She does not take time off for herself. She works from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to bed, with small breaks to eat and pet her dogs. Her moments to herself are when she can walk outside between meetings or take a night off to have a family dinner with my sister. My mother is someone I look up to, however she struggles with her work/life balance. It is important to take that time to connect to yourself and your loved ones (Marsh, 2010). By taking the time to yourself and not overloading yourself in work, you will not be pushing back the life you want to live, like I see my mom doing. I challenged her when I was home to unplug. Every morning during my quiet time outside, she would join me. Our technology was away, we were out enjoying the breeze and the fresh air, and we connected. I could see the stress leave and replaced with relief in her words and expression as she took this time away from a screen and with her daughter. I am thankful to have a mother who works hard, but even more so to have such a strong relationship with her.

“There is time. Even if we are busy, we have time for what matters. And when we focus on what matters, we can build the lives we want in the time we’ve got” (Vanderkam, 2016).

Time is a funny thing, and Laura Vanderkam address the finicky aspect of time: we make time for our priorities. I am a person who thrives with a busy schedule. My planner is filled to the brim with appointments, meetings, work, and friends. Maybe it is my type 3 personality trait of “Achiever,” but I love the feeling of being busy and accomplished. Just recently, as in March 15th when Walt Disney World closed their doors and a week later my boyfriend and I broke up (suddenly unemployed and single) did I see the value of free time to myself. I set a goal to take time every day for my priorities: me. Technology had caused me so much stress: from being on call at work, completing my required assignments for my master’s program, constantly fighting with my now ex, and seeing the world react to COVID-19, technology was not helping my mental state.

This week, I continued to challenge myself. I set a time to unplug every morning, I have quiet time, exercise and cook. I take this time to detach myself from technology and the world around me to focus on myself. In the beginning I experienced feelings of separation anxiety—I felt like something was missing. My phone is always in my hand, and now it is not? Thoughts about responding to messages and emails floated around my head at first, and over time they dwindled. They were being replaced with feelings of peace. I found a new freedom in being free from technology, a weight has been lifted that is heavier than my iPhone. I am more secure in myself now than I have ever been. I have more control over my anxiety, and I am comfortable in the presence of myself. I used to never be able to say that before. Through this journey I have come to love myself more every day. The woman I am becoming is amazing, and I am excited to see where she is going to go and what incredible things she is going to do.

I challenge you to do the same. Designate a time to yourself, away from technology. Notice how you feel without the wait of your phone holding you down.

References:

Marsh, N. (2010). How to make work-life balance work. TEDxSydney. Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work/up-next?language=en

Vanderkam, L. (2016). How to gain control of your free time. TEDWomen 2016. Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/talks/laura_vanderkam_how_to_gain_control_of_your_free_time/up-next